Jesdes7779’s Weblog

just finished SOP…today got bad running nose… sneeze till now… and nose like tap .. today GYFM 20+ mins nia.. buey tahan.. nose and right eye together.. my eye got worse when I chant .. I think must be I closed my eyes for longer period with my contact lenses then like that.. cos before SOP my right eye not so bad…then when I closed my eyes for a longer period my eye cannot tahan lah.. too dry liao..

Last time got infection b4 le.. so now is easier to get infection also.. I will take note of that.. wash my hands properly and more…

oh ya, I excuse myself to kneel on the chanting part and GYFM for today(due to running nose ).. :p maybe I no kneel properly leh.. my left knee blue black ah…

today done SOP earlier… never feel much for GYFM. As usual the forehead tight and numb only… then slightly less than an hr..

today cannot concentrate well for meditation.. and my right eye feels pain.. seems like got infection like that ..many days le..and itchy..feel like rubbing..

so irritating!

went centre for homework… today learn de healing much more detail than last 2 times…

type here in case I forgot…(short cut for my own reference)

- pi jia hu sheng

- OM on both hands and on the whole of the person

- through out whole session visualise Guan Yin on top of head and maintain throbbing on crown

- start “scan” X 2 (2nd time to cfm)

- “claws” and dig

- then 7 chakras .. plus 2 hands & 2 legs…

- chant OMPH with hand sign and visualise Guan Yin sprinkle 水 on the person…

- 6 times on both arms(3 each)

- chop the link

back home done SOP.. do all with kneeling including DBZ… very pain leh..

Can dun kneel when chanting DBZ??

just finished SOP… same today set alarm do 1 hr GYFM…I am happy!

- as usual legs pain

- top head numb..the numb like suction..a bit itchy..

- spin

- feel like moving my hands so move lo.. then poke and hold a few secs at some areas, solar plexus chakra, heart chakra, throat chakra, 3rd eye chakra then crown chakra… hmm… just feel like poking my thumbs there so I just do…

- feel heat around tummy…

chakra awareness guide

just finished SOP.. started around 9.30pm… today I tried GYFM for an hr, wah.. is pain lo.. but legs not as bad as yesterday.. but my back very suan lo.. have to keep trying to sit straight…

during GYFM, aiyo fart a lot… feels tightness on forehead..till now still have.. numb on head… then at the ending part, my left ear feel something but dunno how to describe a bit like expanding/hollow feel(inside of the ear)… then static/numb on many places, like arms, back and legs…

got one part, I felt something around my tummy area.. maybe is qi.. inside my body like moving… cannot cfm.. then , I have to keep tell myself that I want to sit longer.. tml not working wat.. even if I stop now also surf net /watch tv, I might as well do GYFM.. aiyo I have to keep tell myself.. otherwise very diff to sit long..

today school again… was actually sitting at the canteen and waiting for “assembly” to began group homework…

wait and wait…

then… shifu seems busy calling to fellow classmates one by one… but hor.. these classmates bo come back loh…

then my turn le… chat a little with me on how is my meditation and my problem is I no have “Patience” thats y I also dun sit long enough.. and I should always sit at least an hour… but at the same time he was bringing me to a quiet place behind the school block… then he say.. OK meditate here… I was like huh?!?! alone wor… can dun a not?? he just smile and say sit till I come and take u…

so ok loh… was thinking should I do Pi Jia Hu Sheng 1st?? aiya nevermind lah.. safe de lah.. more over my SOP done very late yesterday.. still within 24 hours mah… so just do GYFM there lo…

initially, I tot I will be scare.. hmm.. but still ok lah…cos I tell myself bo care liao lah.. just concentrate on my chanting and close eyes… si mi also dun care just wait till he come take me…

what I felt:

1) some warm air around my hand and arm area(sometimes)

2) cold air blowing on my right side of face(sometimes)

3) insects crawl all over me.. hands, arms, foot, back.(all the time!)

4) numbness on my top of head and forehead(sometimes)

5) forehead like got finger pressing(sometimes)

6) a few moments was actually enjoying… like no feel of body..(only a while)

7) too many sounds for me to feel the surrounding.. esp: Crickets

then at the later part of meditation…

8 ) Legs si bei numb and pain liao… had the urge of stopping the GYFM… but cannot! I already tell myself must wait till he come take me, moreover he just told me I must force myself to sit longer nia…

In fact, shifu must be really taking care of all of us… cos he walked around 3 times past my area while I was meditating…

very easy to know is him de lo…

cos………

you will smell a very nice hair product smell… his trademark 咯..kekeke..

then finally he come take me… to go do DG…

haiz… I did a very wrong thing today… I ate an upsize Mcdonald meal at around 7pm plus… and doing DG at around 9pm plus… barely 2 hours is no enough for the food to be digested!!! I puke all the way when doing DG… spin few rounds nia.. puke ..

the whole DG session was….

DG, puke, sit rest..

start DG, puke, sit rest…

then after that continued with healing for vel (just like Sunday).. use “claws” to dig 业气/业力..

ended…

oh ya … I was asked a question, what’s ur changes u have after started xiuxing…

A lot of things… I shall write down a few bah…

my tolerance level increase… example: level to start a quarrel with people..

the value of lives… not only human.. including animals… when I was young… I never value animals lives… I rear fishes.. they die then die lo… feeding little tadpoles/goldfish to luohan..just watch.. now I know is wrong.. very wrong… they treasure their lives too..they also fear death too… I felt so sinful… so now whenever I saw little creatures like snails… dead.. I chant Om mai padme hong xie X 21 and delicate to them for a better rebirth…

看开on certain things… such as… my expectations for my hubby and family… people that are closer to me… the expectations are always higher… thus conflicts easier to arise.. but because since I want to start xiuxing.. so I also have to change my certain habits/ behavior towards people ..issues… just be more chin cai.. less 要chiu …

had always try to reflect myself on certain things which I had done, tot and felt.. normally is after it’s done..then I realised while I was reflecting that I could have use another way or method for a better result…most importantly.. xiu ownself character… is not easy … change is already not easy liao.. moreover I still need to understand myself as to what kind of bad character I have in order to change myself.. is not something that u go reflect u will know lo.. sometimes.. people might have to tell u, otherwise u dun realised..unless u very very much aware of urself…

Character as in:

my mind, my thinking..看法

my speech, lies… gossips…

my character, temper…expectation..做法

In fact all along I knew these – I dun have the “wisdom”.. many things I dun understand and I may not understand..

I dunno what I can help myself.. so I can only tell myself to include the 5 precepts on my daily lifestyles.. I am trying… cos one day I will gui yi, I will still need to include the 5 precepts de lo…

Overall… today is something different…in fact why we were doing GYFM at different places.. cos this is to let us know that we can meditate anywhere, anytime… and also to help overcome our fears… and our dear shifu is going to 安排 more for us…

So my fellow classmates that are not here today… esp: Zann, Celine, Fanni and Shirley… try to come wor… cos class at school is definitely a different 感觉 from Sunday class de lo!!!

19-May-09

SOP as usual…

20-May-09

today back home quite late and tired.. just finished SOP… DBZ 7 times… throughout the SOP, my forehead and top of head feels numb… eh..many kinds of feels.. a while numb then a while like got insect with wings on ur head kind of feel..top head not always the same place.. so just dun care and continue SOP lo..

wants to sleep early cos wants to get up early to do SOP tml morning so that after class dun have to rush back for SOP…

17-May-09

as usual sunday went to class, then back home SOP…

18-May-09

done SOP… felt throbbing on top of head..like a fast heartbeat…but is not on the centre… is on the left side..

try to sit longer by setting alarm clock to 30 mins.. so that I will at least sit 30mins…

just finished SOP, feels warm and sweating when chanting DBZ… did GYFM for a while only…

today much better le.. at least I got appetite le, the last few days, I dun feel hungry lo and dun feel like eating also… but my nose area, bo pi till very ugly…